I am a rose with thorns. As I bloom, my thorns become sharper. I protect myself with my thorns. I cry myself to sleep and the unbearable pain is too much for me… I hope that one day I can escape from the depths of despair and no longer return. I do not wish to look back. My past is nothing but bad memories – darkness, pain, sadness, despair. This is the darkness inside me that I wish to hide and bury. I wish to forget my past but no one can change the past.
Lately, I just feel trap. I hope for a bright future but I must find a way to forget the people who is continuously causing me so much pain. However, how can you forget these people when you actually see and hear them every single day? You say you cry for me but you do not know how long I have cried myself to sleep. You do not know how many times I have to cry myself to sleep because all I feel is anguish. I start to loathe the life I have but I always tell myself that it will get better so that I would not loathe myself and this life.
Realize that more than anyone, I am the one that has cried so much and suppress so much pain and sadness. You cause my anguish. The way I am now is all because of you so do not point finger and put the blame on me. I do blame myself for becoming like this and letting you get to me but a girl can only take so much… One person cannot simply accept everything that is going on with them. The burden of the pain and sadness you have caused is too much for me to control and to balance. You have exceeded what I am capable to accepting. I cannot just sit here and accept the hurtful words you have given me. I am emotionally and mentally hurt to the point that I have to doubt every single person I meet. I fear that they are just like you… nothing but a stranger to cause me anguish.
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